accomplished twins. life is a go
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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