Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
