Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
