the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
