Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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