So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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