I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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