I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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