You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
