I puked a lego.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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