i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
