You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
