chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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