Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
