they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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