I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
