i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
