Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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