So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
