Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
