Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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