Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
