just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize