I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
