a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It's just like the Real World with babies
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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