My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
