oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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