I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
