I heard we made out
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
accomplished twins. life is a go
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
