you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
After last night, I could never be a politician.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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