No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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