I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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