She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
