oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
