I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
