Apparently you make a good broom.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
