NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
