Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Be still, my beating vagina.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize