Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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