u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
