evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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