Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
