I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
