What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
