It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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