pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
