Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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