"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
