Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
