So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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