Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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