yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
