you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
