they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
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