It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
