Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
