she woke up with a sticky ear
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have already put on my inside pants.
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