why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
