we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
