Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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