I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
