you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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