Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
