Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
