"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
